Clothing trends are - unfortunately - eternal. When I first got to St Andrews, everyone seemed bonded to their North Face jackets and battered Air Force 1s. Now, you can’t be seen dead here in a tracksuit unless it’s actually a “wide-leg lounge set” dressed up with a trench coat and maybe a stupidly thin scarf. It’s completely fine to dress like you just came back from a hunting trip, even though all you did all day was go to Tesco.
Every community has its own fashion ecosystem, and that I am willing to accept. Wide leg lounge pants are indeed very comfortable and nice to wear on a long day sitting in the library. North Face jackets have always been overrated, but at least they (as a functional jacket should) shield against the harsh winds of the Scottish coast. Wellies are made for wet, muddy, grey days, which is how most of the days in both semesters here are.
The Adidas Samba, the new go-to trainer for the average student, however, fulfils none of these criteria.
Whenever I’m on my own as I go about my business, I like to have a look at what other people are wearing (if you couldn’t tell already — classic activity of choice for the insecure individual). It is baffling to see seemingly every other person wearing these shoes. St Andrews fashion accounts, a microcosm of an already limited fashion pool, are plagued with them in every colourway that exists.
I get that a good proportion of the town lives within a 10-minute walk of their classes, but there isn’t a single reason why your feet should be subjected to the experience of trying to walk in those trainers. They are not comfortable. I even understand that we’re going back to more minimalist shoes after a few years of chunky dad trainers, (although let’s stop trying to bring back ballet flats and anything else twee-coded) but let’s not be afraid of a thicker sole. Unsupportive footwear can cause a myriad of problems; you need to look after your feet!
Sambas are also not waterproof, and we live in Scotland. The east coast of Scotland, where the sea is at most 40 minutes away from you at any given time. Perhaps a relatively dryer and less windy year has tricked some people into forgetting how storms form: they involve the sea, and lots and lots of water. After a few hours of wearing Sambas on the wrong day, your socks will be drenched with water. After a couple weeks of this, you’ll be one step away from developing trench foot.
These shoes also do not have any grip. This is a fairly hilly town, and there might not be anything less ideal than slipping all the way down Dempster Terrace or the hill on the way to North Haugh from the Sports Centre.
Finally, and maybe most importantly, Sambas are the self-confessed favourite of former president Rishi Sunak. They are evocative of his essence; a dorky 40-something with no sense of personal identity. If you don’t want to save your soles, at least maybe save your sense of self-respect.
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