Dear Dating Diva,
I have never been on a date. Really. I know I'm young, but watching everyone around me find love makes it seem like I will be single forever. Every crush I have had has a) liked one of my friends, and/or b) friend-zoned me. I am horrible at small-talk, so flirting can be difficult.
Additionally, I have never been told I am attractive by a guy. Even the most drunk man will not hit on me. Maybe I am overthinking this, and that is why I have had no luck with dating. Maybe I am meant to be the cool single auntie. I don't know.
If you have any advice for being more attractive, improving flirting, or picking up on signs that maybe a guy does like me, I would deeply appreciate it.
All the best,
Never Been Considered, Let Alone Kissed
Dear Never Been Considered, Let Alone Kissed,
Your time will come and I need you to believe it with your whole heart. Lots of people are late bloomers (a lot more than you think) and it sounds like you’re one of them. But in order to bloom, you need to believe in yourself. Being confident is not just a state of mind, it’s also universally sexy. That’s my first tip for becoming more attractive.
Next, take personal hygiene seriously. Hopefully everybody does these things but if you don’t here you go. Shower at least every two days and moisturize your body afterwards – nobody likes ashy skin. Slap on some lip balm before you go to bed and when you wake up…crusty lips are not nice to kiss. Get a skincare routine (cleanser and moisturizer at a minimum, and add SPF in the summer). Wash your clothes, sheets, and towels regularly. People can smell if you don’t do this.
My third piece of advice is to honestly answer the following questions. Do you dress in a figure flattering way? If you wear makeup, does it flatter your features? Do you need a haircut? Look up your body type + fashion advice and haircuts for your face shape online, and find makeup videos on Youtube if that’s what you’re into. See what you can do with what you already have. Feeling that you look good is a huge confidence boost. Also remember that many people have found your features attractive or you wouldn’t be around today.
As for flirting/knowing when someone is flirting with you, my main suggestion is eye contact. Are they making lots of eye contact with you and vice versa? This has the added benefit of being a non-verbal social cue, if you aren’t great at small talk. Add a little smile if you feel like upping the ante. People subconsciously pick up on body language, so make sure yours is open and inviting (no crossed arms or making yourself small).
To improve small-talk skills, just ask a lot of questions. Questions keep conversation going, and they’re also an excellent indicator of reciprocation. Are they asking you questions too? If not, they’re self-absorbed and/or uninterested.
Keep me posted on how it goes,
this is insane actually