Dear Dating Diva,
I’ve recently developed feelings for a close friend and I don’t know if they would reciprocate these feelings! We do pretty much everything together, from studying, to running errands, to hanging out. I don’t want to ruin what we have, but I want to know what could be! How can I tell if they feel the same without making them uncomfortable?
Thanks,
Stuck-In-The-Friend-Zone Sam
Dear Stuck-In-The-Friend-Zone Sam,
Ah, the classic dilemma—when a best friend could be something more. You’re not alone in this, and I totally get why you wouldn’t want to jeopardize what you already have. But hey, life’s too short to wonder ‘what if’, right?
Before we dive in, let’s make sure we’re on the same page… Are they romantically attracted to people of your gender? If not, move on with rapidity. What’s their type? If you don’t already know, ask them who their celebrity crush is. If you don’t share any similar features… I’ve got bad news for you. Do they constantly tell you about their newest crush? If so, they’re probably not interested in you. It’s important to be realistic with yourself before your best friend gets too realistic with you.
Now that we’ve gone over that, here are some subtle ways to feel things out before making a grand confession:
Test the waters with body language. Sit a little closer than usual, hold eye contact a second longer, or initiate small, casual touches (a playful nudge, fixing their hoodie, etc.). See how they respond.
Flirt… but make it casual. Drop little compliments—something beyond the usual ‘you’re so smart’ or ‘you’re the best’. Try, ‘I swear, if we were dating, we’d be that annoyingly cute couple,’ and watch their reaction.
Notice how they treat you compared to others. Do they prioritize you? Do they share things with you that they don’t with others? These small things might hint at deeper feelings.
Joke about dating. A simple “Can you imagine if we were together?” can be a light-hearted way to gauge their response without making things awkward.
If they reciprocate, great! If not, you still have your friendship—and you’ll know you took a chance rather than wondering forever.
Wishing you clarity,
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