First Year and Never Dated? A Dating App 101

Dear Dating Diva, 

What are your thoughts on dating apps? I’m a first year and I haven’t been on a date yet. Ever. I want to start dating but I don’t know where to begin. Asking people out in person is terrifying. Especially in this town. Chances are we cross paths on Market Street every other day, knowing my luck.

The only other alternative is dating apps… and I have my doubts. I’m looking for something serious (ideally) and I don’t want it to seem that I’m only looking to hook up. What do you think I should do? 

Yours, 

I-want-to-go-on-a-date Dylan 

Dear I-want-to-go-on-a-date Dylan, 

I share your very understandable fear of running into people you don’t want to see in town. But don’t let this be an excuse to stop you from following your heart. It sounds like you’re scared of putting yourself out there. If you think that it will be easier for you to be courageous on dating apps, do that! Dating apps can be if not stress-free way of meeting someone, then a less stressful way of setting up a first date. After all, the conversation will be completely online until you meet up in person.  

However, there are some things to be careful about when it comes to the apps. Sometimes, it can seem that more people may like you because of a certain height, age, etc., but it’s important not to lie about these things. You don’t want to give people false expectations. Never give out personal information, money, or your bank details. This seems like common sense, but you’d be shocked by how many people are scammed on dating apps.

Don’t take likes or lack thereof personally. Who knows how dating algorithms work? Not this author, that’s for sure. While it can seem like you have infinite choices, don’t go into a conversation thinking that you always have other options. Treat every person like you’d want to be treated, and I’m assuming that it’s not as a back-up option. If you don’t want people to think you’re on there to hook up, put that in your bio and make sure that when you do set up date they’re not at night.  

When weighing these two options, don’t forget that you’ll see people from the apps in real life too. And chances are you’ll be expressing interest in a lot more people online compared to in-person. While you’ll need to develop some kind of rapport with a person before asking them out (lest you come off as a creep), the same thing to a lesser extent is also necessary online. Aim for a few days of solid conversation before making a move online and at least one decent conversation in person. 

Be courageous,